If you’re not into it, but he still wants to hook up: 1. Ideally, you can just stop texting someone completely and ignore their calls. Look, it’s fun to pretend that you will suddenly become real friends, but we all know what happens when you meet a fling for a drink: one drink turns into five and five drinks turns into sex. Since it’s not a relationship where communicating wants and needs is necessary, it’s okay to just say it’s not working out and leave it at that. Ask if he wants to get together, and do something different.
If you’re not ready to crush him by stopping contact all together, simply cool it down a little bit. Don’t talk sex, don’t indicate you want to hook up again. Make it easy and avoid the awkward conversation and goodbye by not making plans in the first place. Don’t engage too much conversation here–it is what it is, and that’s okay. Grab dinner or happy hour but don’t let it go too far. Remember: just because you like someone in bed doesn’t mean the sparks will fly outside it!
If neediness is a dominant emotion for you, I can almost guarantee that this outcome will happen.
You’re better off working on yourself and devoting time to healing that neediness.
Setting up casual fun can be amazing if both people are on the same page: looking to play and have fun without getting attached.