Note that I used the word “impression” because it’s not about who you really are: it’s about someone stereotyping you before they get to know you, based on little things you might say, or not say, that usually don’t reflect who you are deep down. After interviewing more than 1,000 single men and women for my new book, “Have Him At Hello,” I have 9 tips to help you shine on the phone: 1. Be fun: If there’s a lull in the conversation flow, try to be fun and spark some banter. Relax him/her: Make the person feel relaxed and confident by acting happy that s/he called and giving positive feedback on their conversation skills (even if his/her phone skills aren’t great-the initially shy or awkward ones usually make better partners in the long run than the instantly slick, charismatic ones! For example, tell someone, “I had a rough day at work, but your call cheered me up! Know when the party’s over: End the conversation quickly when you sense the energy level drooping.
), but proactively think of something positive about yourself that you want him/her to know whenever you are asked a mundane question. Turn the tables (casually): Follow up your intentional response with a related question that lets him/her talk about him/herself, such as “So, do YOU run, or what kind of exercise do YOU like? Also, don’t ask boring questions, even if s/he asked you a boring question first (Avoid: How are you? And raising a third party topic (e.g., The David Letterman Show) will make you seem easy-going because you aren’t like all the other girls or guys probing to find out if someone is Mr./Ms. But good luck on that big presentation on tomorrow, and I hope to talk to you soon! What Never To Do: While talking on the phone, never chew food or gum, never go to the bathroom or flush a toilet, even if you mute the phone (don’t risk a malfunction!
” or, “How about YOU, do you have an old friend you spend time with? ” This says 4 things: you’re a family-oriented person (you’re calling your grandma, awww: that’s sweet! ), and never multi-task while you’re on the phone by checking email, loading the dishwasher, etc.
With a little preparation, you’ll soon realize that that this was an easy call that you didn’t have to spend too much thought on.
It’s better to be prepared for all of the potential possibilities, so that you’ll be able to move on to the next step with your match.
Were you tongue-tied and did you feel that you hadn’t made a very good job of selling yourself?