In any relationship, the only person you can control is yourself.
By being open to how we are resistant to achieving the love we say we want, we empower ourselves to change 100 percent of our half of the dynamic.
If life were one big bumper car game, and we were all afraid of getting hurt, we would be a little more gentle with each other, wouldn’t we be? But unless you have very, very strong convictions to be single for the rest of your life (hey there, my nuns sisters! We’ve all received the memo, and we are all okay with it. If you are afraid to enter a relationship because you don’t think you have time, there is a much bigger problem, here, and it has nothing to do with relationships. Are they leading to actual, legitimate reasons for concern? (I wish someone would have pounded this into my brain years ago.) If you really want to be in that relationship, you will make it work because you won’t see any other option.
reruns eating dinner in your underwear talking to your grandma on the phone — trust me, I know) but you should probably stop doing that stuff anyway. ) More of us are relationship masochists than we like to admit.
You might have to stop smoking or spending $80 on cocktails every night at that new hotel bar or traveling alone and not telling anyone where you are going, but you will feel good about it later. Sometimes it feels good to fight and break up and cry and get angry. But if you don’t want to start a relationship (or you want to leave one) because you think it’s going too well and you don’t know how to handle it, let me tell you this: you know. (If this is the first time you are hearing that, you’re welcome.) Communication is very important in all relationships, obviously.
I recently wrote a blog titled “7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love.” Within hours, the post had tens of thousands of reads and thousands of social media shares – numbers that would double and triple over the next couple days.
At first, I was surprised at this response, but then I thought about the prevalence of the subject matter.
Who isn’t on some level fearful or resistant to, not just falling in love, but in love? Robert Firestone’s theory of the “fear of intimacy” and was heavily inspired by more than 30 years of examples of clients, co-workers, friends, family members and countless individuals I’ve encountered across the world who’ve opened up to me about their relationship struggles. How can we overcome our fears of intimacy to find and maintain the love we so desire?